Fifteen months into motherhood, it seems I have reached an impasse. Cameron and I have outgrown the rocking chair.
Perhaps he is a shade too long or more likely, my lap is has become a shade too small; whatever the case may be, bedtime has become a bit complicated. I shouldn't be surprised - you've all see pregnant pictures of me - Cameron outgrew my frame in the second trimester of his gestation! Some nights are easy - he's tired enough that he'll sit beside me while we read (current favorites are Miss Mary Mack, Foodie Baby, Going to the Apple farm and pretty much anything with elephants or cars) and then climb in my lap to enjoy some snuggles before drifting off. Other nights, when he's not so tired, I feel like a jungle gym. First he'll start with his head on my shoulder and his legs scrunched up at my hips. After a few minutes, this gets uncomfortable. So we shift into the happiest-baby-on-the-block position - but the chair is not wide enough to accommodate my gangly-legged toddler. At some point, he'll roll on to his belly and be all superman-sprawled across my lap. Not comfortable. So THEN, he winds up sitting sideways in my lap with his head tucked under my chin and his cheek on my sternum. No matter what, one of us is uncomfortable, hot and pinched in someway. Usually, I give up first and put him down in hopes that he'll be much more comfortable with the space to stretch out. Sometimes this works - but mostly it doesn't. Brian usually saves the day - thank goodness for daddy's broader shoulders and bigger lap.
Realizing this - that Cameron isn't my little teenie-weenie baby anymore - is very bittersweet. I love watching every little discovery toddler Cam makes and all the words he says and the little things he finds so funny - but gone are the days of the wide eyed infant.
While Cameron was busy outgrowing my lap, our family was quite busy outgrowing our house. Our story is typical - single man buys great starter house in city..... then gets married...... then buys dog......... then has kid. And somehow, all of a sudden, your house shrinks exponentially and it's time for an "upgrade" - or whatever it is that comes after the starter house. House hunting is STRESSFUL - how do you know you are making the right choice? How do you pick the right community for your family and make sure you have a nice yard for the kid & dog and a big kitchen for entertaining and enough closet space for all your clothes?! How do you pick somewhere to live for 20 or 30 years? In this process, I realized that in the last 10 years, I've lived in two different cities and called 6 different places home. I should note that this really is a good problem to have these days.... I've heard one too many stories of families going into foreclosure or downsizing or not really knowing what the next month will bring. Still, outgrowing things is hard... especially when I wasn't ready yet.
I suppose all you can really do is grow into something new.... which is hard to do if you don't know what or where that something new is. Wish us luck on the house hunting :) As for the chair, well... Cam and I won't be cozy there anytime, but he's so busy growing into toddlerhood that mommy just needs to go along for the ride too!
"Just as we outgrow a pair of trousers, we outgrow acquaintances, libraries, principles, etc., at times before they're worn out and times - and this is the worst of all - before we have new ones." - Anonymous