Wednesday, February 20, 2013

On the Market (..... or Underneath the Red)

My friends - It's been much too long since my last post.

February, as you might imagine, has been a WHIRLWIND.  There's so much I could say, but instead - here are some of my favorite new memories:

And, here are a few places you can find my heart health advocacy work:
Multiple all of this by 10 and it's what all the Go Red Spokeswomen have been up to in February! If you had told me two years ago that I'd have the chance to do all this great work and meet all of these strong, amazing women - trust me, I would not have believe it.


All this being said - there's something else I want to talk about. It seems that we are on the market again.... not for a house this time, as we are quite happy where we are. It's time to work on giving Cam the chance to be a big brother and to find our BGS.

While all of the Go Red festivities were getting under way, Brian, Cam and I were screening/interviewing/meeting with agencies and social workers to figure out how to go about obtaining a little sister to complete our family.  I have come to the obvious conclusion that (pardon my crude irritation) any fool off the street can get knocked up/get someone knocked up and have a baby.  But, if you are a responsible, gainfully employed person with a loving spouse, a warm family and many loving friends who help raise your child in a cocoon of love AND you shouldn't get pregnant again..... well, having another child is a frustrating, expensive, and lengthy process.

Brian does a great job of reminding me that we aren't the first people to ever adopt a child. And I know how lucky I am and am thankful every single day for my amazing little boy. Nonetheless, it is one thing to dream and wonder about adding another child to your family - it's a completely different undertaking to start the process of adding someone else's child to your family. Right now - I'm struggling.  I like have a plan... I like knowing how things are going to go. I like checking boxes and completely tasks.  Being a parent has made me a bit better at abandoning such unreasonable expectations :)  But still - I'd like to know that one day, or a few months or ____ years from now, BGS will be OURS.

So - at this point, we've decided to proceed with two paths to BGS.  We are working on our application for domestic adoption through a local nonprofit.  We have also started the process to become foster parents (with the intent to adopt).  This is a bit scary.  I envision a conversation that goes like this:

Me: We're expecting!!! Cam's going to be a big brother.
Someone: Oh WOW!  When are you due??!
Me: Um.  Somewhere between soon and years from now!

We'll take classes to get certified as foster parents in Missouri.  We'll have the opportunity to provide our "preferences" - this feels a little bizarre too.  Essentially, Brian and I can pick and choose what we want - age, race, sex, special needs, etc. and as children fit our preferences, they can be placed in our care.  In Missouri, the first goal is always reunification with the birth parents or biological family..... and if this is not possible, then adoption is the next goal. It sounds like everyone's experience is different. Some families only foster and some, like us, want to adopt.  Some families have a few kids placed with them, and others receive many, many children before receiving one that can be adopted.

We've been given one piece of sage advice that I will share with you now - consider this your call to action :) One particularly friendly and funny social worker told us that when we knew we were ready to adopt, that we needed to essentially "scream it from the mountain tops".  She suggested telling EVERYONE - people at the grocery store, your hairdresser, your doctor, people at work, people at school, people who work with your mom - because SOMEONE might know a birth mom who wants to put her child up for adoption.  

So here we go -

My name is Rachel.  I'm married to my wonderful husband Brian and we have a little boy named Cameron who's almost two and a Westie named Mowgli. We live in a pretty old house on a street with lots of families.  For fun, we make dinner together and go to the botanical gardens and play with trains and read stories like Babycakes and Brown Bear, Brown Bear.  We have lots of relatives and friends in the area who provide tons of love and support to our family.  We can't have anymore children, but know our family isn't done growing.  Help us find our Baby Girl Siebert!

"So I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart.....
..... Raise my hands
Paint my spirit gold
And bow my head
Keep my heart slow
Cause I will wait, I will wait for you" - I Will Wait, Mumford and Sons